So often I want to thank a client. For being "well-trained". This sounds a bit patronising though, right? It's a bit like a lady calling a man "house-trained" because he remembers to put the toilet seat down - particularly when the mother-in-law is coming to visit. Well, I have to be honest, it is kind of the same. It just makes life easier.
Do you ring your lawyer and wonder why he/she is on the phone to someone else? (Leave a message! Please! We promise to listen to our voicemails daily! If not hourly!) Do you return letters sent to you with the documents for signature? Do you phone to say you are sending an email, and then ring to check it has been received? Then this is for you:
1. Please please please return all paperwork as soon as you can, unless there is a problem or a query with it, in which case please ring or send an email but don't write a letter as this will hold things up whilst the Royal Mail do their bit (or not, as the case may be). Please don't post back the letter we have sent you, as we have kept a copy on the file already, and it just confuses us.
2. Please do not think we do not care. We do. Even if it is only because we want to get paid. But the bottom line is, if you have not had a phonecall for a day, or even two, it is most likely because there is nothing to tell you. So please remember we are human beings and do actually want to progress your matter. We don't like it if clients have to chase us so if we have something to tell them, we usually do that, as soon as humanly possible.
3. Following on from 2, please therefore TRUST US when we tell you we are doing our best. There is the odd day we have a really serious headache and a lot of work on and we cannot be perfect, but generally speaking, the lawyer's world revolves around making the client happy and fixing their problems. So if you haven't heard something before and aren't sure, just ask for a fuller explanation. We do try not to bombard you with legalese, but that does not mean we cannot explain things further when you ask. So if you are struggling with the trust thing, just ask away and hopefully you will feel better.
4. Bad news is bad news. Often we are the poor chaps who have to give it to you. It does not mean the bad news is our fault in any way, shape or form, or yours, but we are paid to act in your best interests which means telling you the truth even when you don't like it (e.g. "you are very unlikely to win this case if you sue"). We do not make up bad news because we are control freaks or want to charge you more. It just happens and someone has to give it straight.
5. Our fees are not all spent on holidays in the Caribbean. It costs quite a lot of money simply to keep returning your phonecalls, writing your letters, and make sure we comply with the panoply of regulation affecting us. This is no bad thing, as regulation makes us do a proper job and be accountable. The flip side is that if it was as cheap to write a Will using a firm of solicitors as it was with WH Smiths, our profession wouldn't really have any standing with the public. A great deal of what we charge goes on looking after you, believe it or not.
All of my clients, without exception, are well trained - listen to what I say, appreciate the advice, and return paperwork when nagged. That's all I'm asking really. Although if you are able to pay my bill too, I can see this developing into a special relationship of sorts...
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